Tuesday night, the group chat of five dorm roommates suddenly lit up because of a wedding invitation. The groom is Long, 32 years old, working in the insurance business, holding a party at a restaurant in the rural town of Nam Dinh. The wedding day falls on the last Saturday of the month at noon.

The first person to speak up was Nam, 34 years old, a programmer in Hanoi, with an offer of 2 million VND for each person for 10 years of friendship. Less than a minute later, there were three heart symbols below the message. In men's chat groups, dropping hearts is the fastest way to agree without having to say anything else. Each heart has its own problem.

Four hearts under one number

For Nam, 2 million VND is only about 5% of a month's income. Once transferred, the money is forgotten. Tuan, 33 years old, a construction site supervisor in Bac Ninh, must be calculated in working days. On Saturday afternoon, the construction site was still pouring concrete, so if he wanted to return to his hometown, he had to take a day off and then drive home.

Hung, 32 years old, car sales consultant, lives on 7 million VND in fixed salary plus commission. This month he hasn't closed on any car yet, so the 2 million VND envelope is almost a third of his income. Duc, 31 years old, technology driver, lost the Saturday afternoon shift, the busiest shift of the week. The four hearts on the screen are still equally red.

Best friend still stands at two million

Nam's figure of 2 million VND is not out of the sky. Since November 2019, aFamily has suggested 1 to 2 million VND for close friends. Five years later, Thanh Nien newspaper noted that the rate for close friends is still in that range, only the rate for acquaintances has increased to 500,000 to 1 million VND.

Salary does not stand still like that. According to the General Statistics Office and the Department of Statistics, the average third-quarter income of workers will go from 5.9 million VND in 2019 to 9.2 million VND in 2026. If calculating 26 working days a month, an envelope of 1 million VND in 2019 takes about 4.4 working days, but this year it only takes about 2.8 days.

The thickest wallet is in charge

The story of Long's group is therefore not on the common level of society. When five friends settle on a number, the person who types that number is usually the one who pays the easiest, and the person who has the hardest rarely hits the key first.

Hung did not mention the lack of cars this month, and Duc also did not mention the missed shift. In a group of men, gas money when going to a friend's wedding is easily considered calculating. So the number was finalized.

Long's group is not the only group this month. If there are 4 weddings in a peak month, each costing 1 million VND, the total congratulations will nearly reach half of the average month's salary. That number doesn't even count the days off from work to return home.

Every group of friends has a Nam, a Tuan, a Hung or a Duc. Many times I am the one who releases my heart the fastest while my head is still doing the math. With current income, where is your best friend's envelope between Nam's 5% and Hung's 29%?

Compared to the average salary, the envelopes given to close friends in recent years have not become more expensive. Men often consider lucky money to be a small thing, so calculations like Hung or Duc's are often just in their heads and never reach the chat group. What gets more expensive are the months in the group when there are people who are both out of business and have to take a day off, but still press the heart button below the number of 2 million VND because they don't want to be the one who makes the fun slow down.

• The characters in the article are illustrative models, created to place the data in specific situations. Each character's income, travel expenses and driving hours are assumed for calculation.

• Average monthly income of workers according to the General Statistics Office and the Statistics Department: 5.9 million VND (third quarter of 2019) and 9.2 million VND (third quarter of 2026). Working days are calculated based on 26 working days per month. This is the general level for all workers, including the agricultural sector.

• The sending level in 2019 is according to the suggestion of aFamily (November 15, 2019), the sending level in 2024 is according to Thanh Nien newspaper (January 23, 2024 and November 7, 2024). These are suggestions and cases recorded by the press, not survey data. Illustrations are graphic.